Saturday, November 19, 2011

Dear Yahweh

Dear Yahweh,

How can You not hate Your so-called “Church”? How do You keep on believing the best of the best about Your faithless, idling, self-seeking, idolatrous harlot of a Bride? When we keep chipping away further at rock bottom to see just how far we can fall, how do You have faith enough to reach down and try to teach us how to fly? Are there any faithful among the reaches of the earth? Where are Your Noahs and Abrahams and Sons of God?

Yet, those lyrics come to mind: Do the faithful sigh...because they are so few? If I may call myself one of the faithful, then I would say that, at the very least, this one does. Can I, the eagle, keep flying when the sky itself is untrue? Can I, a member of the Church, continue to thole when Your Body is disease-ridden with the virus of the humanity of the “saved”-refusing-redemption?

Yeshua, Your blood I plead over me, because I know I deserve death as much as they do. Yet, I know that the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. (Psalm 16:6)

Oh, that I might have my request, that our Father would grant what I hope for, that He would be willing to crush me, to let loose His hand and cut me off! Then I will have this consolation -my joy in unrelenting pain- that I had not denied the words of the Holy One. (Job 6:8-10)

And I know, Father Yahweh, that You will not abandon me to the grave, nor will You let Your Holy One see decay. Indeed, You will not leave my soul in hell; neither will You suffer Your Holy One to see corruption. (Psalm 16:10)

Therefore, I must not strap myself to the Gospel, because I know that I am slowing it down. You are going to save the world, but perhaps the best thing I can do is get my paltry, damage-inducing, regressive-causing self out of the way. Yet, I know that surrender does not come natural to me; I would rather fight You for something I do not really want than to take what You give that I need. However...may I disappear that I may become holy and purified through these flames?

You have said, “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.” (Hebrews 10:17)

You have given this beautiful promise, one which I will hold on to in these vile days:
“And they shall teach no more every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for they shall all know me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, saith the Lord: for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.” (Jeremiah 31:34, emphasis mine)

Grace has taken over and drawn me in...and I am embracing It. May I decrease that You may increase, so that I may lose more of my regressive nature.

Your banner over me is Love,
Your Justified Child